


Recovery

by HailingTorrent



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Coming Out, Draal and Nomura are broken up, Draal is basically the awkward supportive uncle, Draal used to be a prick, F/M, Past toxic and abusive behaviour, Tabletop RPG Shennanigans, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl Claire, Trans Girl Nomura, Transphobia, mentions of abelism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailingTorrent/pseuds/HailingTorrent
Summary: “I wanted to apologize.” This managed to earn a questioning stare from Nomura. A questioning stare that turned into a hateful glare.“Well, you can kindly take your apologies and shove them in the Darklands!”“I deserved that.” Draal sadly noted.“Oh, you deserve a lot more, Draal.” Grinding her sharp teeth, Nomura began pacing back and forth in front of Draal. A little habit she had for years. When she was feeling conflicted. “What did you want here, Draal? Were you expecting us to reconcile. For me to profess my undying love for someone who saw me as nothing more than a freak?” Nomura nodded to the ruin behind her. “Reconciliation? That bridge is as destroyed as Killahead.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy everyone! I'm nearly finished season two of Trollhunters and just wanted to write a fic. Draal and Nomura are my favorite characters, so they were obviously going to be the main characters! This fic is kinda based on the idea that, considering how Draal was the start of the series, he may not have always been such a great guy.
> 
> TWs for this chapter are Transphobia, Ableism and Toxic Relationships. If any of these are a trigger for you, please put your comfort first before reading.
> 
> Also, Itallics is use to show Draal's thoughts or flashbacks :)

Draal supposed he could have gone back to Trollmarket. He certainly wasn't the outcast he used to be. Nearly die and lose an arm stopping the coming of the Troll Anitchrist usually repairs any I'll will garnered. They're understanding like that. _Who cares that we kicked you out over some bullshit honor nonsense? We're cool now!_ But, Draal believed in that honor more than anyone. Kanjigar raised him on tales and lessons of its importance. Maybe he could've taught Draal some other values, but that's the past.

And yet, despite being free to come and go as he pleased, Draal found himself spending time on the surface more often than not. Maybe it was all the interesting and varied graffiti he would find on the tunnels he explored. Maybe it was the TV, so much more diversity and variety than Trollmarket’s plays. Maybe it had to do with a certain Changeling he wronged so long ago, fantasies of reforging the bridge between them. Draal tended to have those fantasies quite commonly, whether he wished to or not.

Or maybe it was this fabulous game the Humans had invented. _Castles and Creatures_ , he believed it was called. Such a wonderful thing! Allowing you to live out fierce battle and glory in your own home. Or in Draal’s case, the comfort of a Trollhunter’s basement.

Which is where he found himself today. Game Master’s screen spread in front of the table, image of a giant clad in armor bringing down his Hammer against defiant heroes. Assortment of dices, from cube to polyhedrals scattered across the table in controlled chaos. A small chalk tablet was held in Draal’s hand, repeating and revising his decisions inwardly.

“If Blinky’s wizard decides to trust the count, then I should be able to spring the Dragon. But…..if Tobias’s barbarian does that thing where he breaks everything- and then there’s Nuṅeze’s Paladin….”

Tapping the side of the tablet with a stick of charcoal, the sound of a door clicking and opening caused Draal’s ears to pick. Going against every Warrior instinct in his body, he remained still. Couldn't have been Barbara. She was on a…..oh what did Jim call it? Medical conference! That's the word.

The game didn't start for another hour. Who could it be?

“Hello? Jim? T.B?” Ah, Claire. Voice was unmistakable. But why was she here? The footsteps became louder, nearing the stairs.

“Blinky? Draal?”

“Got it right in the second.” Moving down the stairs, the two waved go one another, with no small amount of awkwardness between them. Barring the Trollhunter, Draal was not exactly a human person. And even then, anything besides bearing a blade or dice in hand led to a lot of awkwardness for all involved.

“How are you, Draal? Just….got the _C &C_ excitement bad this week!” To show, Claire held up her own Elven Paladin character sheet proudly, pointing to the XP segment. “Got a feeling I’m gonna level up this time.”

“Kill and slaughter your enemies and that is assured.” Looking up from his chalk writing, Draal formed a clenched fist with his prosthetic. For a moment, he stared towards the metal limb. Losing his arm was still not something that he could easily handle. And a likely candidate for why he didn’t visit Trollmarket as much as he could. One of the many things Troll and Human-kind shared in common was their discomfort with anything _different_. They replaced the arm, but glances and stares occurred towards him as he passed through the commons. The low whispers. The condescension. The sympathy. The pity. The disgust. Jim had recommended some online Human groups, support chats, he called them, which were set up for people who had experienced Draal’s loss. Draal would deflect any suggestions.

As he recognized the difference between him and his fellows, more painful memories rose to the surface. A secret revealed. Anger, unjustified and hateful anger, rising from Draal. Spewing of hurtful words. The look of pain on his loves face. The shame Draal continues to feel to this day.

“Draal, is everything A-OK?” Not even realizing, Draal’s eyes had shut close and he fell into the memory wholeheartedly, ignoring the outside world. That was, until a member of the outside world decided to notice his trance.

“Oh, everything is most fine, Claire. I am just thinking of the adventure tonight. I have spent many a sleepless night planning your adventurer’s escapades.” The best lie was one sprinkled with truth.

“I can’t wait!” Pumping her own fist in the air, Claire begun retrieving her dice out of her bag. Something was different.Draal noticed things, and these weren’t Claire’s usual dice. They were a pattern of colours. The 20-sided was a bright blue. 12 and 8-sides were covered in a light pink. And the 10, 6 and 4-sides held a simple white. Randomly poured on the table, Draal could not tell the exact pattern, but they were new. That he was sure of.

“Your dice. They look…..unique.” Attempting to drive against his predisposition of awkwardness, Draal’s simple struggle at a a comment hoped to achieve success. He wasn’t close with Claire. He wasn’t close with anyone. But he respected her prowess as a warrior. And she also had an appreciative tendency of getting the game back on track whenever Tobias decided to murder everyone in the room.

“Thank you.” Nodding, Claire seemed to feel more nerves than happiness towards Draal’s compliment. Not doing well on getting rid of the awkwardness, so!

“Draal, do you have any idea when Blinky’d get here? I was just hoping to talk to him.” Ah, the real reason for her early arrival revealed. Advice from the senior and wise mentor of the team. Most likely advice she’d wish the others would not hear. Most definitely not Draal.

“I’m afraid he will arrive with the others.” A simple shrug of Draal’s shoulders. “My apologies.”

“Oh.” A forlorn, inward statement from the staff bearer. Claire’s eyes shot downward, saddened and crestfallen from the news.

_I’m going to regret this._

“Claire, I am not Blinky. But if you wish to speak about….a problem you are having. I will do my best to assist.” Forcing a considerate smile on his face, Draal was currently wondering what the hell was possessing him to act as therapist for this girl. He was no Blinky. No Vendel. No Jim. Battle and bloodshed was his expertise. Not consultation and emotional aid.

But, his foot was deep in it now. Gotta just go with it and sink in.

“You don’t have to, Draal. It’s fi-” Waving her hands in assurance, Claire stopped midway through, allowing them to fall in denial of the previous emotion. “There is something I wanted to say tonight. To everyone. But, if they find out, they might not want me on the team anymore. Might not even want to be near me anymore.”

_REGRET! REGRET! ABORT! THIS IS TOO DEEP! I AM SINKING TOO FAST!_

Once more, the compelled smile of Draal suppressed these interior thoughts from appearing on the outside. He made the commitment. And a warrior doesn’t retreat. Whether from battle or from deciding to give ill advised consultation.

“I sincerely doubt that we would do such a thing. Unless you are covertly a Changeling spy. In which case, there would be a problem.” What was meant to be a serious acknowledgement from Draal only seemed to have earned an amused laugh from Claire. OK, amusement was better than awkwardness.

“No, no. It’s nothing like that.” The laugh subsiding, so did Claire’s amusement. Now in its place a genuine and deep look of difficulty. As if Claire was fighting something within herself.

“Draal, would it be OK if I told you? Before the others got here?”

_I could fit through that window. If I throw myself into it right now, I could get out of this._

Against his better judgement, Draal decided to not defenestrate himself.

“If you wish.” Focusing on the chalk board, Draal began scribbling random gibberish to calm himself.

“I’m- Oh, never told anyone this. Heck, not even my friends know. And they even know about that time I stole a- I’m getting off topic.” Taking a deep breath, Claire looked up towards Draal with a smile.

“I’m Transgender.”

No words occurred between the two.

_I should’ve thrown myself out the window._

This was bad. This was very, very bad. Draal knew that word. Wasn’t a Troll word. The exact Troll translation would be _Argyr_. But the memories that word brought back, those were very, very bad. Piercing and bleeding, setting the shame Draal tried to bury aflame.

Harsh words. One’s originating from Draal. Shot out in distaste and loathing from Draal towards someone he loved. Who he still loved. Hateful words from someone who didn’t understand. Didn’t want to understand.

* * *

 

_“Draal, it’s still me. I’m still me. I’m still Nomura! I’m still the woman you love!”_

_“A woman? You’re nothing. Just a freak that tricked me!”_

* * *

 

Draal never said the person he used to be was a fine man. He was an angry, arrogant and bitter being. There are many things he wished he could change. If he had been smarter. Wiser. Kinder. Maybe Nomura would have never fallen into Gunmar’s grasp if he had been better. Maybe they’d still be together. Maybe this shame wouldn’t pierce his heart like a blade.

“Draal, is everything alright?” Worry tinged Claire’s voice. Stretching out into the air, testing the waters for danger. Sounded like she had far too much experience doing this. Probably because of people like Draal.

“I am fine, Claire.” Looking down the younger girl, Draal’s shame nearly overwhelmed him. Claire. Nomura. They had done nothing wrong. They didn’t asked to be how they are. And yet, people still treated them with hate. People like Draal.

But he would not make that mistake twice.

“I am….appreciative you told me, Claire. And I assure you, if any of our band speaks ill, they will have me to contend with.” Raising his prosthetic once more, Draal felt he a tinge of kinship between him and the child. Two outcasts. Two differents. Maybe that group Jim recommended wouldn’t be too bad.

“I- Thank you, Draal. You’re heart is as big as you.” Rubbing the sides of her eyes, Draal didn’t even notice Claire had been tearing up. Guess he’s not as good observing as he believed

“You know, you remind me of my uncle. Tough as nails, but a soul of gold.” The beaming, admirable smile from Claire gave Draal a moment of pause. His battle prowess was something he was used to being praised for. _Draal The Warrior. Draal The Protector._ It was his identity. To be admired for something else, it was a new feeling.

“It is quite alright, Claire.” Coughing into his hand, Draal gave a clumsy thumbs up towards Claire. Which the Staff Bearer returned far more gracefully.

They continued in relative silence after this. Claire putting some finishing touches on her table set. Draal tuning and editing any typos or loose ends in his notes. Before long, Jim had arrived from his visit to Trollmarket. Then Blink and Arrrrrgh! Then Tobias, arriving with a wild story of how his blasted gnome ate his bike lock.

Ahead of even a single dice being rolled, Claire decided to reveal her news. The tears still stained her eyes as she did, but her voice seemed a little clearer. A little stronger.

Blinky was the first to react, gleefully speaking of his own readings and learned stories of _Malakath The Quick_ , the first and only Argyr Trollhunter. The fact that Draal knew little of this famed Trollhunter said a lot about their culture.

Arrrrgh! acted as Arrrrgh! was wont to do. He slung a heavy arm around Claire’s shoulders, pulling her into a deep hug and simply stating “Brave.”

Then came Tobias. For a few moments, he seemed to be staring into space. Then, a wide grin on spread over his face with a call of “Awesome Sauce!” The young Warhammer user would go on to reveal that his father was the same as Claire. A personal connection always helps those be supportive. Be good to those similar.

Then came the variable. The dangerous quantity. Her boyfriend and dearest, Jim walked towards Claire wordlessly at the news, the room notably becoming more tense and strained. What followed next was a kneeling Jim, an act of sentimentality.

“Claire, you’re still you. The same Claire I love. All I know now is that you’re even more braver than I thought.” A tender moment, even if it did remind Draal too much of how he should’ve acted all those years ago with Nomura.

Frankly, the biggest source of discourse from the incident was that Draal was the first to find out.

The night went as much of these nights did afterwards. Blinky advised calm and diplomacy in their dealings with NPCs. Tobias would quickly throw out all of this advice with a warcry. Aaargh! Would show surprising insight and judgement in the secrets and twists Draal had planned. Claire highlighter her surprising bloodthirsty side as she eagerly tore through a Gnoll camp. A Jim showed his inability to remember any of his magical spells.

All in all, a good night. But, something plagued Draal’s mind. A nagging concern. A drive of something he needed to do. He had to do.

When this was over, he was going to call someone.

* * *

The forests of Arcadia are surprisingly calm for a town that experiences as much chaos and the fantastic. The woods, from what Draal had learned, were areas of wild and unpredictability. But, in Arcadia’s forests, the only thing that stood out was how clearly you could hear the wind blowing through your hair.

And how loud footsteps could be.

“How did you get my number?” The voice of Nomura wasn’t something Draal would ever forget. Whether it be angry, spiteful or the rare clam.

“The Trollhunter.” Turning around, Draal spied Nomura sporting both of her curved blades. Yeah, she definitely still didn’t trust him. Couldn’t blame her.

“Of course.” A spiteful complaint as Nomura spat to the side, trying to look anywhere but Draal.

“Well, what did you want?”

“I wanted to apologize.” This managed to earn a questioning stare from Nomura. A questioning stare that turned into a hateful glare.

“Well, you can kindly take your apologies and shove them in the Darklands!”

“I deserved that.” Draal sadly noted.

“Oh, you deserve a lot more, Draal.” Grinding her sharp teeth, Nomura began pacing back and forth in front of Draal. A little habit she had for years. When she was feeling conflicted. “What did you want here, Draal? Were you expecting us to reconcile. For me to profess my undying love for someone who saw me as nothing more than a _freak_?” Nomura nodded to the ruin behind her. “That bridge is as destroyed as Killahead.”

This was what Draal expected. Forgiveness wasn’t something he believed would occur tonight. Wasn’t something he believed he deserved. But he needed to do this.

“There is no excuse for how I acted. I could justify it as the stupidity of youth, but that is not what it was. The person I was…...is not a person I ever wish to be again.”

A slightly embarrassed expression crossed Nomura’s face.

“I know the feeling.” She muttered quietly under her breath.

Nomura stopped in her pacing, arms crossed as she faced Draal. A somber expression clouding her anger. Almost nostalgic.

“I did truly love you.”

“As I you.” This earned a snort from Nomura.

“You had a funny way of showing it.” An admitting and shameful grunt was earned from Draal.

The two former loves stood there, neither speaking or daring to add anything more. What they had right now wasn’t good. But it was better than what it was. And they didn’t want to ruin that.

“I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.” Doing as she said, Nomura turned and strided towards the nearest tree. Before she disappeared within the woods, her eyes cut towards Draal.

“You said you wished to be a better person?” A nod from Draal. Which received one in turn from Nomura. “Prove it. As I will prove of me.” And with that, Nomura faded from view into the expanding forest.

Standing in the silence, the wind blowing against his skin the only sensation, a weary smirk found its way on Draal’s face. Maybe him and Nomura would never be truly OK. But maybe they will.

And maybe can get you a long way.


	2. It's Even More Awkward!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barbara apparently doubles as a relationship therapist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Sorry for taking this down earlier, I was just checking to see any changes I might make.
> 
> TW's for this chapter is referenced Transphobia and Past Toxic Behaviour. If either of these are a trigger for you, please put your comfort first.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys!

Being a warrior. A protector. That was the life Draal wanted. It was the life he was raised for. Bred to fight. Bred to defend. Bred to hunt out enemies of Troll Market and strike. By Human culture, a father raising a child in this manner would be questionable under the most generous of circumstances. But, Draal wasn’t a human. He didn’t want for anything more than to serve as a sword of the Trolls. To inherit his father’s mantle.

Then, Nomura happened. Not all Changeling’s simply sided with Gunmar on the principle of loyalty. Some made the decision to branch out. To try and learn more about their culture. Some even ventured to Troll Market, despite the treatment they would recieve. It took a great deal of optimism and bravery to break away. Nomura used to possess the former, and still holds the latter. Bravery was what led her to break away. What led her to transition. What led her to Draal.

When she arrived at the fabled land of benovelant Trolls, she discovered the reputation wasn’t always exact. Even among those who were said to be kind, impure was whispered behind her back. And sometimes, she was not even given that curtesy of  secrecy.

But Draal, he did not see that. He saw a warrior. Someone’s who skill in combat matched his own. Impure, Changeling, these words meant nothing to him in the face of someone who was willing to wield a blade against the Gum-Gums. Training sessions were when things first began between them. Which evolved to facing alongside one another on the battlefield. Which eventually evolved into feeling of romance.

Then, that day happened. The day Draal was weak. The day Draal wasn’t good enough. The day Draal failed. Nomura trusted him. Trusted him enough to tell her who she was. Something she didn’t need to tell him. Something he didn’t deserve to be trusted with.

Did he care that she had bared her soul out before him? That she trusted him with her deepest feelings? Merlin, no. All he cared about how it reflected on him. How others would see them once they knew he was with someone like Nomura. What they would think. The shame it would bring him. In later years, Draal would realize arrogance was his greatest flaw. And no other moment would showcase that more than when Nomura came out to him.

And so, he was brought to the present day, lounging around in his charge’s living room, watching corney crime shows. A glamour on the window granted him the protection from the sun and prying eyes. Good. He didn’t people to see him like this. A ten foot Troll warrior, moping in self-centered guilt over past mistakes.

All common sense in Draal knew Nomura wouldn’t call him back. The wound still fresh and painful. But part of him said maybe. And sadly, maybe can get you a long way.

“Ah!” The sound of a shocked yelling managed to actually knock Draal out of his aching trance. Along with knocking him off the couch.

As he sat upwards, embarrassed to be caught so easily by surprise, he spied the source of the sound, his surprise at their shock diminishing. Barbara still was not use to the idea of Trolls existing. Let alone one occasionally tenating in her basement.

“Oh, Draal! I am so sorry. I just-I just didn’t expect to see you here. In the living room, I mean. You’re always welcome in the house. But, try not to come when no-one’s here. Oh! I don’t mean to sound rude, it’s just-” A raised hand from the Troll soldier managed to halt Barbara’s panicked rambling.

“It’s quite alright, Ms. Lake.” Rising to his feet, Draal shamefully rubbed the back of his head. “I will be going. Apologies for the fright.”

“No! Please don’t leave.” Blinking eyes. Draal was not sure of why Barbara would be concerned about his being. They barely said two words to one another. Besides that time Draal nearly bullrushed her through a wall. They both tried to pretend that didn’t happen.

“Here, have you ever tried Bubble Tea?”

“I’m…..afraid I have not.” _There’s a window. I could throw myself right through it._

“Oh, well we gotta change that.” Rushing across the kitchen, Barbara’s previous distress had utterly evaporated, now imbued with the determination to get Draal to try Bubble Tea.

And Draal was far too socially awkward to disagree.

So, the legendary Troll Hunter canidate found himself sitting on a chair far too small, sitting across from a woman he barely knew, sipping a drink he surprisingly enjoyed.

“How’s the tea?” Barbara stirred her own, expectantly waiting for Draal’s answer.

“It’s lovely. You brew it exceptionally well.” _OK, you haven’t nearly killed her by accident. A vast improvement over last time._

“Oh, thank you. To be honest, I gain most of my food know-how from Jim. My little chef.” And then, Babara’s expression changed. The previous curious joy turned solemn.

“Draal?”

“Hmm?” Know taking a long gulp from his cup, Draal knew what was coming. They were going to discuss emotions. How does he keep letting himself end up in these situations?

“I just wanted to say thank you. For keeping an eye on Jim.” Turning to the side, the melancholic expression strengthened. “For most of my life, it’s just been the Me and Jim show. I had to look after him by myself. When he wasn’t looking out for me, that is.”

“And then, to find out he’s this secret hero, protecting people I didn’t even know existed.” The delicate expression turned flustered. “Eh, no offense.”

“None taken.” _The window is right there. It would be so easy!_

“Honestly, I thought I wouldn’t be enough for him. That I wouldn’t be able to be there for him anymore.” The eyes turned gentle and grateful. “But, then I found out it wasn’t just me. It was Blinky, and Arrrrgh! and you.”

“So, thank you. And feel free to drop by anytime. I always feel safer with you here.”

_Words. Words are a thing you say. Why do I have no words to say? Think, Draal!_

There was a reason Draal didn’t deal in emotion. Battle, that was simple. You punch, you bash, you slash and hopefully you’re the last one standing. But feelings? A thousand ways it could go. A million ways it could go wrong.

Hopefully, this wasn’t one of the million.

“It is quite alright, Barbara. Protecting the Troll Hunter and those he holds dear is my charge.” Raising his prosthetic fist, Draal beat it proudly against his chest. An old act of respect from his military days. And he definitely respected this woman.

The two sat there, finishing their bubble tea. Little of words besides simple plesantries passed between the two of them. Until this.

“Draal, are you OK?” The question caused Draal to choke on the last bit of his bubble tea.

“I-I...of coure I am OK. I have never been better.”

“Draal, I’m not a therapist. But I’ve been treating patients long enough to know when someone’s hiding something.” Rising from her chair, Barbara took her’s and Draal’s mugs and begun washing them in the sink.

“You don’t have to tell me. But I’d feel better knowing you told someone.”

_I’m going to regret this. When it comes to my regrets, it will go: 1. Nomura. 2. This!_

A sight, weary and uncertain escaped Draal as he made the decision to go against his instincts.

“I have recently been having what you humans would call _relationship trouble_.” This earned a curious raised eyebrow from Barbara.

“There is a woman. One I knew from a long time ago. We were close. Neither of never admitted our feelings for one another, but it was obvious to each other they were there. Then…..she confined something to me. Something personal. Something that only those she trusted would hear. I proved unworthy of that trust.” _Why am I doing this?_

Resuming her previous position at the table, Barbara’s eyes were now filled with concern.

“If it’s OK, could I ask what the problem was?”

_She is going to despise me once I say this._

Draal once against went against his better instincts.

“She revealed to me she was Argyr, and I rejected her. I called her horrific things.” Unwilling to bear the shame that would come from looking Barbara in the eyes, Draal instead focused on his feet. Focus on them. Don’t look up

The confusion in Babara’s voice was audible without even having to look.

“I’m sorry. Argyr?”

“Apologies. In your language, it would mean transgender.”

“Oh.” Barbara registered the word, seemingly happy at learning something new. Then the realization set in. “Oooooooooooh.”

“I understand if you’d rather I leave.” In presumption, Draal quickly got out his seat, nearly toppling over the compartively tiny thing.

“No, please. Stay.” Standing up, Barbara gestured a somewhat panicked, but gentle hand towards the now unrooted chair. Which Draal replied by resetting in and sitting across once more.

“Draal, what you did wasn’t OK. I’m not going to sugar coat it.” Stern eyes. Like a teacher administrating a lesson.

“Sugar coat?”

“Put it gently.”

“Ah.” Guess it was fairplay. They both didn’t know something, and now they do.

 “But.” Barbara eyes’ softened. “Claire told me how you handled her own Coming Out. And...I can’t speak of the person you used to be, but he doesn’t sound like the Draal I know.”

“You barely know me.”

“And yet, I know you have a good heart.” Amazing, the trust and faith this woman put in Draal. Explained a lot about how Jim was the person he was. “And I know you wouldn’t ever do what you did again.”

The quiet resumed, the two sitting in the after awkwardness of what just came.

“Do you think I could mend things?” Draal just needed to hear it from someone else.

“I don’t know.” Definitely wasn’t sugar coating it. “But you’re trying. And that’s all you can do.”

A few more moments of slience passed.

“True enough.” Looking towards the sink, Draal thought maybe this emotion thing wasn’t so bad.

“Say, do you have anymore Bubble Tea?”

A gentle smile adorned Barbara’s face.

“Coming right up!”


End file.
